How to cheat like Mr. Bean
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a deep coma....
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
How to unlock a car with a shoelace.
Tie a noose-like knot with your lace. Slide it through the small opening of the car door. Tighten the lace loop and pull the lock up. Then receive free car.
I finally got my shirt!
I'm red all over. From my head tomatoes.